It’s Quagmire Monday!

by Wendy on January 8th, 2007

Did you know that January 8 is traditionally known as Quagmire Monday? That is, if it falls on a Monday and….just go with me here.

Auctioner: We’ll open this auction with this pair of panties confiscated from a prostitute.

Quagmire: Fifty bucks!

Auctioner: She had nine STDs.

Quagmire: Forty-five bucks.

Auctioner: And when we caught her she wet herself.

Quagmire: Fifty bucks!

Social Worker: (lying in bed) Mmm Glen honey, I have a quetion for you. What do you do for a living?

Quagmire: Hey, I have a question for you too. Why are you still here?

BROOKE
Glenn.

Quagmire excitedly approaches.

BROOKE (CONT’D)
Will you accept this rose?

QUAGMIRE
Really? After I drugged you and tried to have sex with your unconscious body?

BROOKE
What?

QUAGMIRE
Yes.

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