Chris Griffin Has a Stalker
Machine: You have 113 new messages
[Phone starts to beep]
Lois Griffin: Oh my!
Old Man: Uh, yeah, I was just wondering, uh… where the newspaper boy was.
[beep]
Old Man: Haven’t seen the newspaper in a couple days. Wonderin’ if he ever gonna come back.
[beep]
Old Man: Guess who? Sorry to leave you so many messages. Just lonely here. Thinkin’ about the muscly-armed paperboy. Wishin’ he’d come by and bring me some good news.
[beep]
Old Man: Where are you?
[beep]
Old Man: Ah, you’re starting to piss me off, you little piggly son of a bitch. Call me.
Old Man: Hey, muscly arm, why the long face?
Chris: It’s this girl. I can’t talk to her. It’s like girls are a different species or something.
Old Man: Who needs them? You like Popsicles?
Chris: Well, sure.
Old Man: Then you need to come on down to the cellar. I got a whole freezer full of Popsicles.
Chris: No, thanks. I gotta get going.
Old Man: Don’t make me beg now.
Chris: You’re funny. Bye.
Old Man: Get your fat ass back here.
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